Tom Barthel Consulting

So Teenagers Do Not Come With A Manual? I think that is bull_______!

Do you know a teenager with disappointing behavior? 

Who is it that comes to mind? What’s their name? If it is someone else’s teen, you may feel opinionated. You may feel strongly about what should happen to set that person straight.

If the person that came to mind is your teenager, you may feel less opinionated and more lost. Lost at what to do next. You may have feelings of embarrassment & failure and a lack of hope for that teen that had so much potential but is now wasting away into drugs, bad behaviors, and lack of respect for anything that makes sense to you. You probably want this to stop right now and have them confront the truth of their behaviour.

You can make that happen. You can have your teen confront the truth and consequences of their own behaviour. Read this email, learn its message and put the tips provided into action.

If the person you thought of is someone else’s teen, take a small risk with your relationship and give those parents a call. Offer support and compassion, in whatever way that looks like to you, and forward them this email. Let them know that:

Drugs, alcohol, crime, dysfunction, laziness and no sense of direction are optional. Below is one step, in a proven direction.

If you are at all hesitant, give me a call and I will help you take that first step…. 

Does laying it out on the line for your teen feel like a good fit for your house?


Call and tell me about the struggle you are dealing with.

Parenting Tip For You

I cannot tell you how many times I have overheard parents or guardians discussing how to address their young persons problems. Some can’t agree on what to do and others, if they’re lucky, may come to a consensus and put a plan on the back of a napkin or a note pad on their phone. This unfolds their ‘great design’ for that young person’s life, and the subsequent results are often pretty darn disappointing. Then the popular rationalization comes in… “Well, that’s just how kids are these days. It’s not like when I was young.” 

I challenge this notion completely. There are only two reasons for a teenager’s current abilities, what the parents have taught them or didn’t teach them. I also challenge that parents do not know how to teach. We do it all the time in our business and work life. Employees get trained to do their job, improve their sales, streamline their tasks, and some companies even give employees behavioral training. These training schedules are planned out and get put on calendars. Yet in our culture, when we get home to our children, for many parents the training slows down and sometimes even stops. It can be because they are tired, overwhelmed, or had a bad day. It is sometimes due to many messages in our society and media, that advocate a type of softness with children. No zeroes at schools and it’s not mandatory to hand in homework anymore, some sports don’t keep score, and people shouldn’t have strong opinions on life or how to live it because that can exclude other people with different ideas.


Many people are growing in the direction of allowing kids to discover life for themselves instead of training them. It can be an “anything goes” culture at times. No training for children how to live life emotionally or intellectually means no competence in dealing with “internal skills”. No training in how to succeed in outside world both financially and physically leads to no competence in “external skills”.


Little competence in living life, and you have a young mammal with a very unhappy nervous system that can feel anxious, insecure and unable. Unhappy nervous system equals unhappy neuro-transmitters constantly in the brain. Unhappy neuro-transmitters can very quickly lead to drug abuse, mental illness, and behavioral problems.

"If parents ran their businesses like most parents run their children, they would go bankrupt"

You can tell me what you would like trained into your child


by calling me here

So What Do I Do Now?

  1. Pick an area, just one, of life that your young person needs an improvement in. Choose something that won’t be overwhelming to them and can offer a quick win and confidence boost.
  2. Take your calendar and choose the following dates. WRITE and CONFIRM them in your calendar
  • The date you will sit down with your child and discuss the upcoming change and new life skill you wish to teach them. No less than 30 minutes for this talk.
  • Choose from 5-10 dates you train that life skill into your child. Follow an expert’s model if you would like. Teach it to them in phases. Follow the tried and true training method of “Tell, Show, Do, Review”.
  • Once you have done the “tell”, and the “show” let them “do” and review the results with you.
  1. Find the next life skill your young person needs to learn and repeat. Now that they’ve had a confidence boost, start making them increasingly more complex or difficult. 

Click here

Testimonials of Parents Who Made This Work

It works, it really does.

Call Today

Get the behavior you want from your child.

I will teach you how to train the skills you want into your teen.

I will do it with you, and in extreme cases I can do it for you.

I have templates, resources, and real-life examples you can model.

Let’s talk.

Click Here

Get the behavior you want from your child.

I will teach you how to train the skills you want into your teen.

I will do it with you, and in extreme cases I can do it for you.

I have templates, resources, and real-life examples you can model.

Let’s talk.

Call here


For a quick response

P.S. If you know another parent who is struggling, call me now. Tell me about them. I can help you get them started in a new direction. 403-391-4184.


Tom Barthel